Time.

Time is all of our worst enemies at least once in our lives. It doesn't stop to take a rest, ever. Humans have to rest of course, but deadlines are always too close to them, making the inevitable plain straight stare them in the face. They have to run, they have to make it, they can't just stop what they're doing. Ever. Well.....we need it. We know we need a break. Just take a break once in a while. Do it, see what it does for you. Whether it's a break from work, a time passage left there to grasp, to embrace. Work will always be there, but will you always be there to work? You shouldn't be. The point in breaks is to find yourself. Don't let these overwhelming jobs take you away. We have families, most of us, related or unrelated, they're there for us. Or so we want to think. We want to believe there's hope. Hope for all of us. We want our names to continue, we must let them. We can't do anything about things sometimes, just let it go. Let. Go.

I want to improve my writing. I can't understand what I write here, but it's all in my mind. This is what I see. This is who I am currently, no matter how bad I don't want it to be like this. Move on, Rebecca. You can't defeat time. You can't. No one has. Except. You can take a break from the pressures of time. Just take a breath. Let it out. Breathe. Soothe the pain and it will go away. Let it build up, and....what will that make you? Will that make you strong? Will it?? Or is it that you must let it defeat you in order to start a new life? I don't know the answer to that, but I want to. I want to be free. I don't want to depend. But is dependence there to learn or to fail? Should we depend? Or should we not? I want to know the answer to that. I want to be free of worry, of guilt, so what is the answer to that? What is the answer to living free? Is it innocence? Pure...innocence? Or is it something bigger than that? Should we live specific lives, or just...general? No one is better than another, so are our lives big and full, or....plain and simple?

I can't be single for the rest of my life. There's something better than this. I gotta get someone to fill the void. But should I first remove my pain of my past? Or should I even view it as pain? I mean, I did learn from it. So what else is there for me? Is this pain that I feel, or just extra stress I put on myself from day to day? Do I have unresolved conflicts that need to be resolved? Because something has always stopped me. And it's always been myself I think. I don't know. I need to get some help I guess haha. We all need help from time to time. And I'm just being blunt. Should I hold back that thought? Or no?